Interview:
Jaden: What is the difference between Dubuque county and Las Vegas?
Ryan: Treatment of Dubuque county? Nevada just got gay marriage last year whereas Iowa has had it for many years. In large cities there's a huge diversity of people, nationalities, etc. When there is that many people together it is much more accepting. I feel it is harder to be accepted in small towns because it is less diverse. I would say, for me, it is much easier to be out in any large city vs. small city.
Jaden: What are the kinds of changes you have noticed?
Changes have been a lot, even in the last 5-6 years. Very few people were pro gay marriage and now it is well over half, I would say. The people that support it the most are younger because of the different eras. Same as in the civil rights, the older had the "shittier" reactions to different races. I think exposure through social media, tv, movies, etc. has impacted the changes of peoples mind. They see it so much they think they're "Just like everybody else, so what's the difference?" The exposure and social media has helped. When I was growing up coming out in high school would not have been accepted. LGBT organizations in high schools have helped the movement as well. My sister, Kelly, has really helped make a difference of gay rights in Dubuque county.
Jaden: Were you discriminated against?
For me, I was lucky enough to have our family that is liberal, easy going, etc. I was lucky. I didn't come out until I was in college or shortly after. At the U of Iowa, because it is so big, it makes it a lot easier to come out because it was way more accepting. It's more accepting their because people from all over come to school there. I purposely did not come out until I was in an accepting environment. In Epworth if I had not gone to college, I would not have come out, no way.
Jaden: Do you feel resentment to growing up in a small town?
I wouldn't say resentment, but when it came to my issue it sucked because I felt like I couldn't tell anyone. I was paranoid about if someone new and I had a huge weight on my shoulders. When I left home and went into bigger cities I became much less worried about what people in Epworth thought back home. I think it was harder for mom and dad because they were very protective of me around some of the less accepting friends and family. It took me so long to come out because mom's protection was annoying to me. I told aunt Kelly first over the phone on a cruise ship and she said "o.k. can i tell Darin?" She is the easiest to tell anything to because she is so open minded and laid-back. When I had to gay friends get married they made a Youtube video over their relationship. They posted it and within the first couple days there was over 10,000 views. They were so overwhelmed with comments they had me read and okay or not okay if the viewer could post the comment. I would say 60% positive, 40% negative. The negative comments were mostly religious based. Online people say a lot more because there is a wall, like you will go to hell or I am going to kill you. I was shocked, it was unbelievable. I am so used to the acceptance that i forget what it's like when people aren't accepted. I forget it happens. I think if people don't experience discrimination very often they forget it even happens.
Jaden: What is the difference between Dubuque county and Las Vegas?
Ryan: Treatment of Dubuque county? Nevada just got gay marriage last year whereas Iowa has had it for many years. In large cities there's a huge diversity of people, nationalities, etc. When there is that many people together it is much more accepting. I feel it is harder to be accepted in small towns because it is less diverse. I would say, for me, it is much easier to be out in any large city vs. small city.
Jaden: What are the kinds of changes you have noticed?
Changes have been a lot, even in the last 5-6 years. Very few people were pro gay marriage and now it is well over half, I would say. The people that support it the most are younger because of the different eras. Same as in the civil rights, the older had the "shittier" reactions to different races. I think exposure through social media, tv, movies, etc. has impacted the changes of peoples mind. They see it so much they think they're "Just like everybody else, so what's the difference?" The exposure and social media has helped. When I was growing up coming out in high school would not have been accepted. LGBT organizations in high schools have helped the movement as well. My sister, Kelly, has really helped make a difference of gay rights in Dubuque county.
Jaden: Were you discriminated against?
For me, I was lucky enough to have our family that is liberal, easy going, etc. I was lucky. I didn't come out until I was in college or shortly after. At the U of Iowa, because it is so big, it makes it a lot easier to come out because it was way more accepting. It's more accepting their because people from all over come to school there. I purposely did not come out until I was in an accepting environment. In Epworth if I had not gone to college, I would not have come out, no way.
Jaden: Do you feel resentment to growing up in a small town?
I wouldn't say resentment, but when it came to my issue it sucked because I felt like I couldn't tell anyone. I was paranoid about if someone new and I had a huge weight on my shoulders. When I left home and went into bigger cities I became much less worried about what people in Epworth thought back home. I think it was harder for mom and dad because they were very protective of me around some of the less accepting friends and family. It took me so long to come out because mom's protection was annoying to me. I told aunt Kelly first over the phone on a cruise ship and she said "o.k. can i tell Darin?" She is the easiest to tell anything to because she is so open minded and laid-back. When I had to gay friends get married they made a Youtube video over their relationship. They posted it and within the first couple days there was over 10,000 views. They were so overwhelmed with comments they had me read and okay or not okay if the viewer could post the comment. I would say 60% positive, 40% negative. The negative comments were mostly religious based. Online people say a lot more because there is a wall, like you will go to hell or I am going to kill you. I was shocked, it was unbelievable. I am so used to the acceptance that i forget what it's like when people aren't accepted. I forget it happens. I think if people don't experience discrimination very often they forget it even happens.
There are many cases involving gay marriage or equality. This is a civil rights issue because certain people aren't given their rights because they care about someone that is of the same gender. The impact of this event is still ongoing. People are starting to change their views and become accustomed to it. Many men or women will go across state lines for a small ceremony at a courthouse then go back and live in their home state. They do this because they are not allowed to get married in their state. The decisions are still ongoing with many states on whether or not to make it legal for same-sex marriage. Part of the nation has gathered to get marriage equality and there have been instances of not wanting the laws to pass.
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This is the video Ryan was talking about in the interview. Ryan is one of their very good friends and attended their wedding.
Thank you to Ryan for the interview. Thank you Kelly for changing civil rights in Dubuque County. Thank you Ms. Rogers and Mrs. Lukes for opening my eyes and teaching me about the civil rights issues.
Thank you to Ryan for the interview. Thank you Kelly for changing civil rights in Dubuque County. Thank you Ms. Rogers and Mrs. Lukes for opening my eyes and teaching me about the civil rights issues.